MY FATHER'S CHAIR

It was his castle within his house,
a chair he appropriated only to himself.
A safe haven from us all,
a safe haven from the world,
tattered and torn, it had a life all of its own.
 
My father’s chair was his space, his place,
his time to wrap himself up in his thoughts
unencumbered by the presence of us all,
in a house ever too small.
A moat around it kept him out of reach.
 An invisible barrier no one dared to breach,
or a different man they would greet.
One they would not recognize; one they would not like to meet.
Whatever it was that danced in his head,
the entangled highway his memories fed,
he kept far from his family, thoughts he never said.
They were still too near for his liking, lurking like a bear,
as he looked out from his fortress, as he looked out from his chair.
 
Like many of the men of his generation who fought in the war,
my father was world worn his innocence now obscure.
He loved his children, our safety he vowed to maintain.
His beloved wife understood too well, he was forever a changed man.
Although a belly laugh occasionally escaped him,
it was laced with something more, something grim.
His family and most friends couldn’t understand
the constant nightmares and unreasonable fear that kept him bound.
His battle was invisible, but he’d experienced it all first hand.
As he sat in his chair, he never let it show,
his constant wrestling his demons to the ground.
He never wanted us to know.
 
Not formerly educated, my father was well read;
A tradesman who worked with his hands but always used his head.
Our hero could be quiet and stormy, but never violent.
To me, he was nothing short of brilliant,
Sitting in his chair, I can just see him right now,
 a wreath of smoke from his cigarette, hovering over him like a halo.
I think of my father often, he left us years ago.
With each passing day, I feel I know him better,
and understand the man, whose presence is always at my center.
His example shines a light
as I wrestle in the day to day, trying to get it right.
 
It was his castle within his house,
a chair he appropriated only to himself.