Crying in the Dark

 You ask me why I never cry.
I cry, believe me, I cry.
My tears, I do not put on display,
nor let the world in, it’s just not my way.
I’m the same flesh and blood as you,
but being vulnerable is something I’d rather not do.
Can’t you see?
So let me be, let me be.
 
I do my crying in the dark where no one can see.
The fountain of tears behind closed doors is none other than me.
Such secrets I’ve kept hidden for years;
my insecurities, my vulnerabilities, my fears.
I’m quite skilled at keeping my emotions at bay,
it’s just my way, just my way.
 
You know I have an image to maintain
and crying buckets of tears doesn’t pertain.
Macho, untouchable, a carefully crafted persona;
I live a well-planned life, I’m quite the performer.
Don’t you want a man forged and true
who can not only love you but can protect you too?
To be found out, to be disarmed by a crying spell,
it’s my living hell, my living hell.
 
My emotions, haven’t been neutered, haven’t gone away.
They’re an essential part of who I am, they’re with me to stay.
 I’m just not transparent, I’m not easily read.
Having a powerful body, doesn’t mean I have an empty head.
I guess my emotions say it all,
they’re my Achilles heel, my short fall.
 
I’ve traveled the world in search of my dream,
many days without a dry eye, only a silent scream.
It may be the most foolish thing I’ve ever done,
leaving you behind, chasing the sun.
It could have been all about us,
 instead, I chose me and forever mourn my loss.
 
You ask me why I never cry.
I cry, believe me, I cry.
My tears, I keep hidden, I set them apart
so as not to reveal the calling out of my lonely heart.
If you stop to listen you just may hear this big dog bark
but really, it’s me, crying in the dark.