There’s a monster in me.
It’s in the back of my mind,
but I know it’s there, although it hides.
Most of my days, I’m totally unaware,
but on this particular day, I know that it’s there.

It’s that itch that needs scratching,
the song that I can’t sing,
the mile that I can’t run,
all the things that I can’t do and the things that I haven’t done,
that makes me feel that life’s passing me by.
I don’t know quite how, I don’t know quite why.

It’s that hollow feeling in my heart,
that I’m not playing a significant part,
that bothers me.
I’m damn well for real, that I know;
I’m made from flesh and blood,
I have a heart and soul.
But I want to put all my talents and abilities on overdrive,
and drive them till there’s no more left,
and none of them can hide.

Something is teasing me, I don’t know what it is.
It’s in the morning, then again, it’s there at night.
Sometimes it may seem funny but most times, gives me fright.
It’s something that is telling me that I could be something more,
and that I should journey forward and not close any door
to those things that draw me to places and people where I wouldn’t go.
Places and people like you, that would open up my mind and soul.

But there’s something about me that I don’t like today.'
It’s tearing at my soul, it’s gnawing at my breast.
I think it’s another defining moment of my life.
I think it’s just another test.

Again, it’s telling me that I need to go further with my life,
that I need to know what I know,
that my journey has not yet been concluded,
that there are still miles yet for me to go.
I must journey straight ahead,
I must confront the monster, take it down,
and put my unrest to bed.

Because there is a monster in me.
It’s in the back of my mind,
I know it’s there, until it hides.
Most of my days I’m totally unaware,
but on this particular day, I know that it’s there.
But it won’t be there for long,
I will push the envelope one more time again,
by year’s end, it’ll be gone.
Oh yes, it will be gone.

Yesterday’s yesterday…
Forty-eight hours and ten minutes plus,
we spent all but two talking about us.
Are we so complicated?
So much you have tolerated,
how often you said I’m a strung-out man.
Really, I’m just that bass guitarist you fell for in the rock and roll band.
 
My riffs are made from magic, my chords from a quarry of stone.
I’ve played my songs till my flesh is cut to the bone.
You say I care more about my music than I do about you;
I say no, it’s untrue, untrue, untrue!
Can we lock our love up, put it in a box, tie it with a bow?
Then hide it in a place others are scared to go.
 
Now I’m a middle-aged rocker looking for my glory days,
I want to go touring again, what do you say?
I’m a member of the band,
if I don’t voyage with them, I’ll be in never, never land.
‘Cause music’s my calling I write the verse,
 the tunes come freely when we rehearse.
Your words fall from my ears,
my eyes bleed sorrowful tears
I now see me coming apart,
is it the love for my music or the love for your heart?
 
Yesterday’s yesterday…
Forty-eight hours and ten minutes plus,
we spent all but two talking about us.
So, you’re letting me go, I owe you again
you’re not only my lover you’re my bestest friend.
I’ll call you each day, I promise no less.
I’ll pay the groupies no mind, the ultimate acid test.
 Afterall, I’m now an aged rocker, I do need my rest.

There was a mirror on my wall
in which I looked ten feet tall.
My ego filled all the space,
for anyone else, there was no place.
Awash in my youth I thought I had it all,
what can touch me, I boasted, impervious to the higher call.
 
As the years began to unroll
I became troubled by my anxious soul.
My reflection hazy, searching, desperate to recall;
no answers to be found in the mirror on my wall.
I sought tranquility in my days
 tossed, restless in my sleep at night.
But, to no degree could I breakaway.
Whatever will set me free from this troubled plight?
 
Mirror, mirror on my wall,
now in my middle years, how do I stop the free-fall?
Suddenly, all became clear, the depth of my depravity,
to live within a selfish shell was pure insanity.
I wrestled with my soul
the truth within I finally got hold,
it was time to set it free.
 
I opened my eyes to the world, no longer in shadow,
I exchanged the mirror for a window,
drank in all I saw, joy pushed away the sorrow.
The colors rolled vibrantly over the hills,
the clouds blew out towards the sea.
Children laughed and played,
and gave the world hope, unafraid.
 
I opened my heart to the world, no longer guarded,
 innocence over took me, I was definitely altered.
My callous shell faded away,
I looked forward to each new day.
No longer would I live for myself and my pleasure
My goal now, to let love for others be my measure.
 
I opened my spirit to the world and a power filled me
with the strength of loved ones come and gone
their love never died, but still reigning on.
It supports me now in the purpose that I choose,
to help others win and never lose.
 
What I thought was important when I was young
was nothing in light of the work that must be done.
To know what I “really” know
in my mind, my heart and my soul.
To make a better world, yes this is my final goal.

He just appeared, it seems, out of the blue.
For those looking, his presence was long overdue.
Nobody understood from whence he came.
He didn’t volunteer much just, Sensei, his name.
He didn’t mix words,
more than a few sentences, we seldom heard.
 
He carried nothing with him,
he lived life lean and mean.
Never in a rush, he passed each moment deliberately.
There is no reason, he taught, to meaninglessly let one pass by,
life is best walked one foot in front of the other, only.
Always being on the run, he said, is worse than a stick in the eye.
 
There were many paths that Sensei could have taken
but he chose a life in the simplest form, to some it looked quite barren.
It was obvious that he was a learned man;
he was disciplined, fit, sound minded, solitary, and lived by his own plan.
“Against his better self-interest”, many would say,
but Sensei never listened, he was comfortable making his own way.
And for those who could not, or would not, try to understand,
although living a simple life, he was a very complex man.
 
Sensei, defined himself by his minimal life.
He exuded peace, preached tranquility, seemed one with no internal strife.
“Is what you teach a religion?” “Are you a God?”
“Are these questions you should be asking of me?”, he replied with a nod.
“God is the essence of it all.
I’m here only to help and to guide, to pick you up should you fall.
I will push you and train you and prepare you for the many tests.
All I ask in return is that you give me your best.”
 
Back then we failed to recognize the treasure, the true worth of the gift,
wrapped up in this stern and guarded man,
from whom fairness, justice and unconditional love always came swift.
He showed us that we can make excuses for our shortfalls,
live a less than robust life, or, face the challenges as they unfold.
For each of us he helped build our core,
gave us a firm foundation from which to launch and to soar.
His words to this day give my life basis,
in my mind Sensei’s voice rings out, “there are no excuses!”